1. My drink pile looks like this. By 10am.
2. I spend two minutes throwing away my empties before my husband gets home and am IMMENSELY proud of myself for getting so much cleaning done for the day.
3. I have to think about it when asked the last time I showered.
4. But am quite pleased with myself for having brushed my teeth within at least the past 20 hours. What? Cavities? Pshh. That's what I have a dentist for. And my breath? DUH. Gum.*
5. I can't tell you what happened on the last Vampire Diaries episode.
6. My Google search history reveals phrases including (but not limited to) "what does burning flesh smell like," and "how to avoid reporting a death," and "grocery delivery services."
7. On the EXTREMELY rare occasion I can be pried from my laptop, I have a pen and composition book pretty much glued to my hands. Even when I pee. Just in case. (Really, you never know.)
8. Instead of doing laundry only when I run out of clean undies (which, let's be honest, is the usual way I do laundry) I take the MUCH faster quarter mile of a ride to my mall and raid Victoria's Secret. Dude, 5 for $25. That's practically a whole 'nother week. They only look at me slightly strangely when I stop to furiously scribble down some random WIP-related thought in my notebook while leaning against their panty table.
9. Quite often, my husband can be found kissing me goodnight as he's heading out the door for work in the morning. And good morning when he gets home at night.
10. I, on the other hand, can frequently be found eating the WEIRDEST THINGS EVER for meals. Like hotdog buns with melted cheese, ketchup and mustard. (Don’t knock it til you try it.)
And, just for good measure, how about one more . . .
11. My face is twisted into this sort of expression. At almost all times. (Completely unrelated to my writing eating habits.)
*Okay, number 4 is kind of a stretch. But only because I promised my dentist to floss daily. And it's become kind of an addiction.