The Kindness in Forgiveness

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It's not always easy.

In fact, sometimes it's beyond difficult.

But forgiveness? It's kind to two people.

The person you're forgiving.

And you.

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Let's be real.

People can be assholes.

People can do shitty things.

Intentionally--or not.

But so can I.

And so can you.

Keep that in mind. Gather empathy from those past experiences in which you've been the wrongdoer. Use it to forgive.

People make mistakes; people grow; people change.

Or they don't.

But you will.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." ~Mahatma Gandhi

Sometimes it's easier when someone asks for forgiveness. When they apologize for the wrong they've done.

Sometimes it's harder. Sometimes you want people to just disappear and never come back--and when they do, it's a constant reminder of that hurt.

But they've made the effort. They've apologized. Maybe more than once. Maybe over and over. They've taken that first step toward communication.

Forgive them.

You don't have to forget what they've done--that might not be possible. But (and warning: this is a total cliché, but it's also the truth) life's too short to hold onto hurt.

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Take a second and really think about this quote. Let it sink in. 
It's kind of amazing in how simple--and how true--it is.

Sometimes those who've hurt you don't think they need to apologize. They don't see that they've done anything wrong.

Still,

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Because here's the thing: People need love the most when they act like they least deserve it.

Hurt people hurt people.

Forgive them.

If you can't do it for them (and believe me, I know how much easier it is to blog about this than to practice it in real life), do it for yourself.

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Letting go of the pain someone's caused you can beyond difficult. But when you hang onto it? All you're doing is giving that person--or those people--headspace that could be used for so many better things. Story ideas. Childhood memories.

Freaking grocery lists.

Anything is better use for that area of your brain. Your heart.

Ask yourself: Do you want to feel this pain/anxiety/regret/negativity in a year? In two? Five? Ten?

God, I hope not. I sure don't.

So let go. Today. Tomorrow. A week from now. Maybe it will take a year--but get give that ball a gentle shove toward the top of the hill. Big or small, it won't be easy. But eventually, it will pick up speed and you'll find yourself feeling lighter, faster, freer.

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This is your kindness challenge for the month: Forgive someone.

Give them kindness in the relief of being forgiven.

Give yourself the kindness of letting go.

♥S

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Too often kindness is relegated to a random act performed only when we’re feeling good. But an even greater kindness (to ourselves and others) occurs when we reach out even when we aren't feeling entirely whole. It’s not easy, and no one is perfect. But we’ve decided it’s not impossible to brighten the world one smile, one kind word, one blog post at a time. To that end, a few of us writers have established The Kindness Project, starting with a series of inspirational posts. We post the second Wednesday of every month. 

Check out today's posts by other writerly friends participating in The Kindness Project!

Sophia Chang                         Sara Larson
Erica Chapman                       Matthew MacNish
Jessica Corra                          Sara McClung
Elizabeth Davis                       Gretchen McNeil
Christa Desir                           Leigh Moore
Sarah Fine                              Tracey Neithercott
Claire Hennessy                     Katharine Owen
Elana Johnson                        Elizabeth Poole
Liza Kane                                Lola Sharp
Amie Kaufman                        Michele Shaw
Alina Klein                               Meagan Spooner
                                               Carolina Valdez Miller

Want to join us? Grab our button and spread a little kindness.