There. I said it.
I mean, you guys, it's bad.
Some things I remember with absolute clarity*. But other things? It's like peering through the thinner parts of a strand of cotton candy. I can see what I'm trying to remember, but only through a kind of sticky haze.
Which, yanno, to put it lightly, sucksssss.
But this actually isn't a post to whine or lament about that cotton candy piece of my conscious. Because here's the thing: there's one area of my life where having a shoddy memory actually works to my advantage. And it's one of my favorite areas.
Here's a hint:
Yep. BOOKS! Don't get me wrong, I hate when my friends start discussing books and, even though I've read them, I can't really contribute much because I can't really remember much. Character names. Secondary plots. Character motivations and reactions. (I could go on and on.) Even with books I've loved.
It also means I get to reread my favorite books over and over again without their stories ever losing their sparkle. Because of my crapy memory, reading the first page of a book for a second time is like slipping back into an amazing dream that's gone a little wispy around the edges--and sometimes in even more so in the middle.
It's awesome, getting to rediscover so much.
It's the one area I feel bad for people with amazing memories. Sure, they still reread for pleasure--but it's never as close to the first time for them. Because they remember too much. Which is something I rarely have a problem with.
Of course, I do remember some things. Endings, major plot twists . . . Those are almost impossible to forget. But man I love that second reading when little forgotten details jump back out at me. Secondary characters reshape among the pages. Plot threads begin to weave back together. I get to re-fall in love with the love interest. I'd never complain about that. I get a second, third, fourth (all right, maybe not fourth . . . by the second or third readings, usually books are more cemented in my mind) chance to love books like the first time I read them.
And here's something else about me:
Just watch, now that I've admitted how bad my memory is, it'll suddenly get awesome. That's how things seem to work with me. I tell someone I'm one way--because I am--but then I end up changing, either down the road or right away. It's all very confusing, but kinda makes sense at the same time, I guess. Like when you evaluate yourself in some way, you become more attuned to that aspect. How can it not change or shift in some manner with all that attention? That's why I try not to make blanket statements about myself, because they never end up staying the same. But in this case? I'm hoping for it. :)
*I felt the need to add that statement 1) because it's true, and 2) I suddenly got nervous. What if I'm called to witness something in court someday and somebody uses this post to discredit what I say?! So let me clarify here: I don't ever lie about what I can't remember.