A supposed law of nature . . . to the effect that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. (source)
NOT to be confused with:
Sara's Law
A real law of nature to the effect that if anything can make a situation awkward, embarrassing, clumsy, and/or stupid sounding Sara will make it awkward, embarrassing, clumsy, and/or stupid-sounding.
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| Yep. This is me EVERY TIME. |
On the real. I can take any situation and pull Sara's Law into effect. Even the simplest of situations. Like, for example, reading on my Kindle. No joke, three days ago, I managed to self-inflict an injury via Kindle reading. And I'm not even talking about dropping it on my head while reading lying down. Nope. I injured my hand. While reading. I mean, seriously, who does that? I can't bring myself to give the details, they're too embarrassing, but needless to say, I'm CLUMSY.
Or take social situations. I have basically two modes. Painfully shy in which I can't even make myself speak, much less make eye contact--because I totally suffer from analysis paralysis (in which I question my every thought or opinion and always end up convincing myself I'm wrong). But I mostly prefer that to the other mode: When I make myself talk and then end up looking back on conversations and wanting to murder myself because I spoke without thinking and sounded like a freaking idiot.
You know what I'm talking about? Like driving on autopilot, when you're suddenly at your destination but don't remember driving the last five miles? Yeah. I frequently get to the end of a conversation and have no idea how I got there. And can't fight the suspicion that I blew through a few red lights and possibly ran over a chicken along the way.
Granted, the better I know people the less awkward I tend to make situations. But even with my best friends--in the writing world and out--I'm basically guaranteed to stick my foot (all the way up to my freaking knee) in my mouth
So. There's today's little Sara tidbit for ya.
xo
I suffer from awkward conversation syndrome especially badly when I'm at clinical. Usually, introducing myself to my patients goes fine, but the train begins to derail when it's time for me to perform assessment/start asking them questions. Articles begin to disappear, syntax goes on vacation, and you end up sounding a total idiot. A total idiot who then is going to give you medication and stick you with needles. *head desk*
ReplyDeleteI can very much relate on the awkward moment :D Now add to this the foreign language element...I translated "maiden" or "young woman" literally in German to explain why I changed names and I translated into "Jungfrau" which means...virgin...yep, I told the lady "oh this is my Virgin name" my hubby looked at me, shook his head and kept talking to the lady. I cracked up :D
ReplyDeleteOoh, I've done the autopilot thing before. Then that gurgle starts in the pit of my gut, and I so long for Harry Potter's cloak.
ReplyDeleteExcept for attracting the attention of that Canadian Witch guy, last time we hung out you were perfectly normal.
ReplyDeleteUm...I think we share a brain. Or you just described me. Analysis paralysis is my perpetual mindset.
ReplyDeletePS - I NEVER thought this about you so you do an amazing job of not appearing to be all these things, which in my book are not flaws...they are quirks. And adorable ones at that. :)
Haha, I love Sara's Law! I also suffer from very similar syndromes.
ReplyDeleteHaha, oh, I do this all the time! The other day, during a conversation with a group of people, I found myself asking some guy what the traffic in New Jersey was like. And I have no idea why. Sooo awkward.
ReplyDeleteSara's Law sounds familiar to me--I'm either painfully quiet or flightily oversharing; there is no in-between for me.
ReplyDeleteHope your reading injury heals quickly! :)
You're not alone! I can definitely relate to Sara's law, as I often find myself in awkward situations. Great post! :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm not shy, but I do get nervous around new people. Awkward silence makes me extra nervous...and verbose. And, thus, suffer foot/leg in mouth disease frequently.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately analysis paralysis doesn't hit me until an hour AFTER the conversation...or, more often, when I'm trying to go to sleep at night. THAT'S when my brain decides to replay every convo of the day...and the horror commences.
Also, I call 'bullshit'. You are not awkward at all. You are perfectly delightful and normal and charming.
Also, I STILL have to write a post. *sigh* I'm such a freaking slacker. *hangs head*
ReplyDeleteHa! This is SO me, too! I couldn't be any clumsier, and sadly, I've passed my unfortunate lack of grace on to my poor daughter. Oh well... we can't be perfect in EVERY way, right? ;)
ReplyDeleteI definitely feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteI would actually really love to know how you injured yourself with your kindle because it sounds like an awesome story
ReplyDeleteThe awesome thing about writers is that most of us are socially awkward, so we can all comfortably be weird around each other ;)
ReplyDeleteHaha! I totally get this. I'm a complete Klutz (yes, with a capital K)! In fact, that's what I wrote about for today's blogfest post.
ReplyDeleteAnd Sara's Law? That's so me. LOL The penguin picture is hilarious--and so, so true of my life.
Really fun post!
I love that Lola called "bullshit" on you. :)
ReplyDeleteI think most people have their awkward moments though. I am shy at certain events and outgoing at others, just depending on how comfortable I feel!
Thanks for sharing. I'm pretty shy too so I know what you mean.
ReplyDeleteSo, basically, I'm going to end up being a crazy cat lady because I am the most awkward person on the planet.
ReplyDeleteThe end.
"And can't fight the suspicion that I blew through a few red lights and possibly ran over a chicken along the way." Yes, I've had many conversations like this too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hosting this blogfest...I have a feeling it's going to be tons of fun!
Hmmm. Sara's Law sounds a whole lot like Linda's Law.
ReplyDelete