The Kindness in Forgiveness

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It's not always easy.

In fact, sometimes it's beyond difficult.

But forgiveness? It's kind to two people.

The person you're forgiving.

And you.

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Let's be real.

People can be assholes.

People can do shitty things.

Intentionally--or not.

But so can I.

And so can you.

Keep that in mind. Gather empathy from those past experiences in which you've been the wrongdoer. Use it to forgive.

People make mistakes; people grow; people change.

Or they don't.

But you will.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." ~Mahatma Gandhi

Sometimes it's easier when someone asks for forgiveness. When they apologize for the wrong they've done.

Sometimes it's harder. Sometimes you want people to just disappear and never come back--and when they do, it's a constant reminder of that hurt.

But they've made the effort. They've apologized. Maybe more than once. Maybe over and over. They've taken that first step toward communication.

Forgive them.

You don't have to forget what they've done--that might not be possible. But (and warning: this is a total cliché, but it's also the truth) life's too short to hold onto hurt.

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Take a second and really think about this quote. Let it sink in. 
It's kind of amazing in how simple--and how true--it is.

Sometimes those who've hurt you don't think they need to apologize. They don't see that they've done anything wrong.

Still,

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Because here's the thing: People need love the most when they act like they least deserve it.

Hurt people hurt people.

Forgive them.

If you can't do it for them (and believe me, I know how much easier it is to blog about this than to practice it in real life), do it for yourself.

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Letting go of the pain someone's caused you can beyond difficult. But when you hang onto it? All you're doing is giving that person--or those people--headspace that could be used for so many better things. Story ideas. Childhood memories.

Freaking grocery lists.

Anything is better use for that area of your brain. Your heart.

Ask yourself: Do you want to feel this pain/anxiety/regret/negativity in a year? In two? Five? Ten?

God, I hope not. I sure don't.

So let go. Today. Tomorrow. A week from now. Maybe it will take a year--but get give that ball a gentle shove toward the top of the hill. Big or small, it won't be easy. But eventually, it will pick up speed and you'll find yourself feeling lighter, faster, freer.

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This is your kindness challenge for the month: Forgive someone.

Give them kindness in the relief of being forgiven.

Give yourself the kindness of letting go.

♥S

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Too often kindness is relegated to a random act performed only when we’re feeling good. But an even greater kindness (to ourselves and others) occurs when we reach out even when we aren't feeling entirely whole. It’s not easy, and no one is perfect. But we’ve decided it’s not impossible to brighten the world one smile, one kind word, one blog post at a time. To that end, a few of us writers have established The Kindness Project, starting with a series of inspirational posts. We post the second Wednesday of every month. 

Check out today's posts by other writerly friends participating in The Kindness Project!

Sophia Chang                         Sara Larson
Erica Chapman                       Matthew MacNish
Jessica Corra                          Sara McClung
Elizabeth Davis                       Gretchen McNeil
Christa Desir                           Leigh Moore
Sarah Fine                              Tracey Neithercott
Claire Hennessy                     Katharine Owen
Elana Johnson                        Elizabeth Poole
Liza Kane                                Lola Sharp
Amie Kaufman                        Michele Shaw
Alina Klein                               Meagan Spooner
                                               Carolina Valdez Miller

Want to join us? Grab our button and spread a little kindness.

Let's Do This Thing.

Do you guys know Kathy Bradey? 

You should! 

For many reasons. She's sweet; she's funny; she's talented . . . She's a fellow nail polish junkie! *high five*

But what I'm focused on today is the fact that she's organizing an auction to raise funds for cancer awareness.  

Here's the thing: 

“Be Here Now” is an inspiring documentary about the actor Andy Whitfield, who put the same determination and dedication that he brought to his lead role in the hit television show, “Spartacus: Blood and Sand,” into fighting life-threatening cancer. 

It was Andy’s hope that by opening his story up to a documentary, he might help or inspire others facing similar challenges, while pushing to accelerate the pace of cancer research around the world.

“When Andy was told his lymphoma had returned and that without treatment he had 3 – 6 months to live, he was compelled to share his exploration into the unknown. He selflessly invited a film crew into our lives, who followed us through out the last year of Andy’s magnificent and courageous journey. We now need your support to finish the documentary and fulfill Andy’s legacy.”
~ Vashti Whitfield (http://www.maybemcqueen.com/)

Kathy's raising funds for the completion of that documentary. She and other fabulous authors are offering critiques and books in exchange for donations toward the project!

It all starts TOMORROW. Bid on critiques from: 

DEBRA DRIZA (author of MILA 2.0, Katherine Tegen)

LAURA TIMS (YA writer and intern at FinePrint Literary Management)

MICHELLE PAINCHAUD (YA writer represented by Jessica Faust of Bookends) and E. K. HENRY (YA author of FREAK)

KATHY BRADEY (YA writer represented by Suzie Townsend of Nancy Coffey) and MELANIE SANTIAGO (YA writer)

MINDEE ARNETT (YA author of THE NIGHTMARE AFFAIR, Tor)

DAWN RAE MILLER (YA author of LARKSTORM)

REBECCA ROGERS (YA author of the SILVER MOON series and UNDER THE STARS)

SUSANNE WINNACKER (YA author of THE OTHER LIFE and THE LIFE BEYOND, Usborne/Marhsall Cavendish)

RACHAEL ALLEN (YA writer represented by Susan Hawk of Jenny Bent) and ANGIE SPARTZ (YA writer and book blogger)

ELIZABETH LIGHT (YA writer represented by Lindsay Ribar of Sanford J. Greenburger)

KAITLIN WARD (YA writer represented by Sarah LaPolla of Curtis Brown and YA Highway blogger)

JENNIFER WALKUP (YA author of SECOND VERSE, Luminis)

KARA TAYLOR (YA author of PREP SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL, St. Martin’s Press and former intern to Elana Roth)

STEPHANIE KUEHN (YA author of CHARM AND STRANGE, St. Martin’s Press/Egmont UK and YA Highway blogger)

LORI LEE (YA writer represented by Suzie Townsend of Nancy Coffey)

The full list of critiques and books up for auction--and all the other deets--can be found on Kathy's blog.

If you're able to donate, I hope you'll consider it! (But dude, hands off Kathy's full MS critique. *gives you all the side eye*)

♥S