Monday, March 15, 2010

I Cheated

Writing a PG love scene is IMPOSSIBLE.

Seriously. When I think PG, I think Lilo and Stitch. And you KNOW Lilo's not fishing for trouser trout when she's out with Stitch. Why? Because PG sex scenes do. not. exist.

And yet, somehow, Simon was kind of cajoled into hosting this PG Love Scene Blogfest. And then, in turn, he forced me to participate... Yep, he stuck a gun against my ear until I signed up. I should have just told him to go ahead and shoot me.

So, yes, I cheated. My scene is definitely not PG. I couldn't do it. I went with PG-13 instead. I did stick with the rules otherwise though. (kind of)

The rules were:
  • A short love scene between two characters (yes, two, ‘cause if it’s a threesome or better, it sure as hell ain’t PG!)
  • The reader needs to understand that the act of love is occurring, but the language must remain MG/PG.
  • You may not fade to black because that would be cheating. 

Um, so here's my entry:

When his fingers graze my shin, I know it’s starting. I push up onto my elbows and smile at him, so he understands I’m okay with it. It was my idea, after all. My idea for the picnic. My idea for the secluded spot at the foot of the hill. And my idea to mix vodka into a half empty 20-ounce Sprite bottle—just to see what would happen.

As if we didn’t already know.

His hand works its way up past my knee and I find I can’t meet his eyes anymore, so I lay back on the blanket to stare at the sky. A few puffs of grayish white speckle an otherwise pale blue. And far in the distance are darker storm clouds, but they won’t reach us for a while. It’s not perfect, but it’s close enough.

I can’t quite figure out what to do with my hands, so for now they go behind my head. He’s scooting closer, at the same slow speed as his hand traveling along my leg. I want to look at him, but my eyes refuse to move in his direction. He reaches my thigh and the pressure is just a little too much. I giggle. I can’t help it—I’m ticklish. He laughs too.

I know he’s looking at me. I can feel his gaze on my face. A moment passes, and then another. I watch a cloud wander by overhead. I feel the change in pressure a second before he starts to pull his hand away, so I catch it with mine and slide it closer to the hemline of my skirt. I leave my hand on top of his, for a second, enjoying the warmth. It seems to match the liquid heat working its way down my stomach.

The wind picks up a bit and the trees begin to sway. I watch the branches dance and wonder if they’re really moving in perfect rhythm or if the vodka’s helped the tango tempo playing in my mind.

And then he’s kissing me and my hand weaves into his hair. His kiss is messy, but not sloppy; relief mingles with regret when his fingers work their way over my skirt instead of under it. But then his hand grazes my hip and rests at my side, his thumb stroking my stomach through my shirt. And next my ribs. He rolls his fingers across each one, like a piano. I wait for the laughter to choke my throat—but it never comes. Why doesn’t this tickle? The thought disappears as soon as it flits through my mind, though, because he begins to trace lazy figure eights around my collarbone. I suddenly can’t remember out how to swallow. When I do, it sounds like someone stepping in mud—so loud—and now mortification mixes with…whatever else this is I feel. Need?

A shift in weight and he’s laying beside me, sliding his hand back down the way it came. When his lips travel to my throat, my eyes open, for a brief moment, in shock at the electricity bouncing across my skin. I notice, distractedly, that the storm clouds are closer now, faster than I thought they’d be. But when his fingers slide under my shirt, when he smoothes his hand along my skin, everything hazes into a bright white and I stop seeing anything at all.

I realize, at some point, that I’m moving. With eyes still closed, it’s almost like floating in the ocean. Waves rolling under my back, lifting my hips and washing over my toes.

And he rides the same current—shares each crest. When the first fat drops of water splash from the sky—we’re too busy floating together to notice.

But after, when I lean my head back against his shoulder, I open my mouth to catch the rain.

PS. To read everyone else's entries, click here.
PPS. Alexandra posted about duets--music for writing--over the weekend, make sure you don't miss it because it's the first in a series =) (click here)

♥ Sara


  1. You are a great writer. I really enjoyed it..flowed. Yep not PG lol

  2. It's not PG--but I agree with you: PG Love Scenes do not exist!!!!!

    And I love it! I love the distractions with the clouds and the rain. Plus I know how quick you threw this together so I am AMAZED at how fast your brain works. Excellent job. This is why I keep you as my CP! ;)

  3. Oh, I love that last line. It's perfect. :)

  4. That was fantastic! Loved the weather descriptions mingled with the love scene. Very well done, Miss Sara!!

  5. Well, Good Morning to you!!! Very nice, very well done indeed.

  6. Holy cow, that was pretty frigging fantastic. Soooo glad you cheated. Love how she opens her mouth to the rain as well. So very well done. And absolutely no fading to black. We knew exactly what was happening..eh hmmm, floating-hahaha...perfection. But it was very subtle. Love the ocean analogy for the um, moment. It fits the scene perfectl.

  7. Haha, yes, not PG. Nice images though :-)

  8. That's why I was too chicken to enter the blogfest :) I knew I was in trouble before I'd even begun! Yours is not PG but it is beautiful. Amazing job.

  9. Yep not PG - I had issues with this challenge too. Seriously it is difficult to do this stuff. I mean come on! lol

    LOVE YOURS! I am with everyone else the last line was amazing!

    Visit My Kingdom Anytime

  10. Love your post today! Really, really love it! : )

  11. Yay! I love it!

    Also, it was hilarious going through my blogroll (whatever it's called) and seeing "I Cheated"!

  12. HAHAHAAAAaaaah. Did you just say "fishing for trouser trout?" OMG, I thought I'd heard a lot of euphemisms for sex, but that one's new to me, and hil-AAAA-rious!

    But what are you complaining about? Sure, it's not MG, but the writing's perfectly appropriate. Er... considering the subject matter. It's actually quite lovely. Even if they're plastered on vodka and Sprite. ;)

  13. Nicely done :) I think you captured a very realistic character here.

  14. Cleverly Inked, thanks =) Def not PG

    Shannon, ha! Go us for coming up with things on SUCH short notice! (er... memory)

    SarahJanye, lol thanks! That was the easiest part to come up with because I always used to catch rain like that (not with a boy, but by myself) when I was younger!

    Thanks Erica! By the way, any chance you're going to the VA book festival next weekend?

    Piedmont Writer, and a good morning (um, or afternoon at this point) to you as well!

  15. Carol, haha your comments always make me laugh =) Glad you liked it!

    Livia, definitely not PG, nope, not at all!

    Julie, you so should have done it! (Okay, I'm lying... I complained the ENTIRE time I was writing)

    Courtney, I'm pretty sure almost everyone struggled with this, lol. I'm off to check yours out in just a minute ♥

  16. Thanks Kimberly!

    Alexandra, lol, I though people might like the title, if nothing else ;-)

    Simon, i DID say that, lol. Though I have to admit that I googled sex euphemisms to find it. I'm MUCH to innocent to come up with something like that on my own, of course.

    Thanks Jemi!! ♥

  17. Nicely done Sara, kind of glad you went with PG 13 so we could read such a lovely scene:)

  18. PG-13, but beautifully constructed! I love the dreaminess of this, and the sense of their youth as he touches her and she giggles--ticklish. Lovely!

  19. The rhythm and pacing, clouds and feelings are all so delicious! Wonderful writing!

  20. Loved that he was going to draw back and she stopped him. While you cheated, it still is a lovely scene - dreamy, delicate and sweet. Nice job. And you always make me laugh.

  21. I *love* that last line. Totally makes the whole piece.

  22. When it's this good, it's okay to cheat a little. :) Beautiful Sara, love the dreamy quality and the last line is indeed perfect.

  23. Loving these metaphors :D The dreamlike quality is really nice. This was a tough challenge, that's for sure.

  24. So glad you went with PG-13:) Makes me wonder what you could do with an R rated one! *wicked laugh*

  25. not PG but oh-so-wonderful! So tender and steamy... you certainly know how to bring the heat! ;)

  26. Hot and steamy. PG and sex scene just don't go together. Ever.

    But this in a YA - perfection! I loved it!

  27. Definitely not PG, but I'm not complaining. ^^

  28. I like that when she tries to swallow, it sounds like someone stepping in mud! It's only a little cheat--well done!

  29. Yup, well done. Especially that last line. Perfect ending.

  30. Love this one! The imagery really brought me into the moment without being graphic. It's like PG-and-a-half.

  31. This was great, the imagery was so vibrant, and I could feel my stomach tightening with hers. It was just great, and you kept it pretty clean, nice job! I wish I'd gotten to this sooner! I didn't hear about it until last night, so I just barly had time to post mine but yours was awesome!

  32. WOW----brilliant! You have quite the gift:)


Yay! I love when you have things to add :)