Sucky Poetry

Today, for Shannon's poetry day, I'm sharing some absolutely horrible poetry from my younger years.  ONLY because I love Shannon (who posted some of her own in light of her week long dedication to Lisa Schroeder) and all of my more recent & decent poems are out on submission right now. (If you want to read some nice poetry, be sure to read Shannon's blog today.)

First though, I have to tell you... When digging out my preteen and teenage poetry journals I found some other stuff I'd written during those years. And it made me cry...

FROM LAUGHING SO HARD!

A list for your amusement:

• For the Fear of Death--A two-part short horror story with blood drawn on the cover. (6th grade) 
• An oh so deep note in a poetry journal (verbatim): "A human being is just a metaphor for life. I am just a metaphor for life."
• A short story(ish) written completely with exposition about a gold digging murderess named Taylor. (9th or 10th grade)
• Jocelyn's Choice--A long short story about Princess Jocelyn and her decision to marry based on letters she receives... Complete with an illustrated cover. (Elementary school)
• Treasure Island and Gary's Grave--My two first ever attempts at flash fiction... (LOL 4th grade)
• Junk Mail--An absolutely horrible short story about a man getting dumped for reading too much junk mail (some point in high school)
• Mage's Isle--A handwritten short story about a girl named Ellen who knows magic and becomes the apprentice of an Archmage (Antik) (8th grade)
• Another deep note in a different poetry journal (verbatim): "Deep down, everyone knows what actually is, yet everyone builds their own facades to cope with the extent of reality to which they cannot adapt to."
• Sarchevo--An incredibly NOT PC story about a girl who's kidnapped by Indians and forced to become one's wife (Dancing Lion), whom she ends up kind of liking... EVEN though he killed her sister. (8th grade)

Anyway. If you've saved old stories/poems from younger years, I highly recommend that you take a moment to reread them because the laughs that follow will be priceless!

So, onto the bad poetry... This first one was written in 5th grade. When you read it, you will learn that I am obviously a very deep person.

*****
Love vs. Hate

Love is a feeling
            a feeling of security
            a feeling of hope

Hate is an obsession
            that takes over you
            and wraps you in coldness

Love is beautiful
            more so than one million setting suns
            more so than one million rainbows

Hate is sad
            sadder than the deaths of one million butterflies
            sadder than the murders of one million people

Hate is our enemy.
Love is our destiny.
*****


Ta da! So. What'd you think? Was I gifted beyond my years or what? Hahahaha.

There are really no words for my second one. This little gem is from 10th grade. It's titled Nonsense, and... well... you'll see.


*****
Nonsense

Yes I know the Muffin Man
who lives on Drury Lane.

He's across the way waiting for Clementine
who'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes!

Someone's singing Lord,
Kum Ba Ya...
Do you hear her singing?
Look!
She's driving six white horses as she comes
(Whoa back!)

Light she is and like a fairy
and her shoes are number nine.
She brings herring boxes with out topses,
she's come to fix the London Bridge.

The Muffin Man greets her
with a hug and a kiss hello...
And those who look quite closely
see the squeeze he gives below.

When the bridge is fixed and finally finished
He takes her on a picnic
with sugar and spice
and everything nice,
like shoe fly pie and Apple Pan-dowdy.

While they eat
across the blanket
the ants went marching
one-by-one.
Hurrah! Hurrah!
*****


^crickets chirping^


ummmm yeah. So apparently I reached into a huge kettle filled with every nursery rhyme known to man, stole bits and pieces of what I pulled out and thought I was clever.

So, Shannon. I hope you're happy! Thanks to you, I know have my very own "Sara Shame" label, haha.

♥ me

Crit Partners Make the World Go Round

*

If you don't have a crit partner or group--GET ONE.

Not to sound bossy or anything... but please (pretty please with a cherry on top) take my advice today!

Don't know how to find one? Well, if you're reading this--you're already off to a good start, because actively particpating in the writing blogosphere is exactly what opened the door for me. And get on twitter if you're not already.  Connect with other writers who are looking for the same thing. There are lots out there!

Don't rush into it. Take the time to get to know people. Because believe you me (says one vain insecure writer to the next) constructive criticism can be really hard to take. But when it comes from people you trust it's invaluable.

Here's a GREAT link for people looking for Crit Partners! CRIT PARTNER WANT ADS (Thanks to Calista!)

Here, in a nutshell, is how I look at it:

Good CPs will tell you honestly when a dress makes you look fat...
Then they'll introduce you to the fabulous world of spanx.

In case you couldn't tell, I received feedback from two of my CPs (and a beta as well). Their comments were insighful and honest. And wonderful. SHATTERED will be leaps and bounds better thanks to their input.

Lata gatas... I'm off start my next round of revisions!

♥ me

More Contests! (Updated 2:45pm)

Wow... Apparently January is a month for contests!!  Just to make sure you're in the loop, here are a few of my favorite ones!! Oh, and the end dates are all posted in the sidebar over there to the right...

Oh, and of course... Don't forget MY contest either!!

CONTESTS

Kidlit.com is having a major contest--about the beginning of your novel! Click the link for the rules... Here are the prizes:

• Grand Prize Winner: A 15 page critique
• First Place: A 10 page critique
• Second Place: A 5 page critique
• Third Place: A 2 page critique
• Honorable Mention(s): A critique of the first page of your novel

Sourcebooks Fire #YALitChat Writing Contest
These 150 entries will then be ranked on a scale of 1-10 by three Sourcebooks Fire editors. The top 20 submissions (calculated by adding scores) will be notified and allowed to submit a pitch letter and first 20 pages of their novel for further consideration by Sourcebooks editors, as well as YA literary agent Regina Brooks, founder of Serendipity Literary agency.

Let the Words Flow is having a book trailer contest! (So cool, I mean--I don't even care as much about winning as I do the motivation to create such an awesome marketing tool! They even give you step-by-step directions about how to do it!
The winner will receive an ARC of SING ME TO SLEEP by Angela Morrison, a bag of confectionary goodies (i.e. candy), and a query letter and/or first 3 chapters critique of your work by the LTWF contributors! If you don’t want the query letter critique—or if you’re not at that stage yet—you can opt to receive a signed copy of PRADA AND PREJUDICE from LTWF’s own Mandy Hubbard!

Shannon is having a fabulous contest in light of Lisa Schroeder!!
One winner will win a SIGNED copy of I Heart You, You Haunt Me, plus the beautiful Far From You paperback, Chasing Brooklyn, and a signed Chasing Brooklyn Bookmark.

Steph Bowe is holding a First Five Pages critique contest!
In her own words: I am giving away First Five Pages critiques! So if you're an aspiring YA novelist, interested in getting a bit of feedback from, um, me (a soon-to-be published YA author and real live bonafide teenager), this is the competition for you! There will be five winners, but if there are over 100 entries I'll announce a few more.

Valerie is holding a freaking SWEET book giveaway (two books to first place, one to second) contest!

• I Heart You, You Haunt Me by Lisa Schroeder
• Night Runner by Max Turner
• When It Happens by Susan Colasanti
• The Pace by Shelena Shorts
• Devil's Kiss by Sarwat Chadda
• The Hollow by Jessica Verday

Nickels is cleaning house and giving away 12... that's right TWELVE books!

• Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli
• His Eyes by Renee Carter
• A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly
• Mary Jane by Judith O'Brien
• Beastly by Alex Flinn
• Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson by Louise Rennison
• A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray
• The Insiders by J. Minter
• The Secret History of the Pink Carnation by Lauren Willig
• Summer Boys by Hailey Abbott
• Fallen by Lauren Kate (ARC)
• The Diary of and American Au Pair by Marjorie Leet Ford

Frankie is giving away 3 two-book bundle ARCs!

• 1) Wintergirls, Laurie Halse Anderson + The Anatomy of Wings, Karen Foxlee
• 2) The Summoning, Kelley Armstrong + Prophecy of the Sisters, Michelle Zink
• 3) Fire, Kristin Cashore + The Stolen One, Suzanne Crowley

Anna is giving away some awesome stuff as well!!

• The Grand Prize Winner will receive:
  A copy of Shiver by Maggie Stievfater OR The Maze Runner by James Dashner
  AND a $15 gift card to the book retailer of your choice (Powell’s, Amazon, etc.)
• The Runner-Up Prize Winner will receive:
  A copy of Shiver or The Maze Runner (i.e. whichever book the Grand Prize Winner doesn’t choose
  OR a $10 gift card to the book retailer of your choice (Powell’s, Amazon, etc.)

Southern Princess is having a California contest!!

• Grand Prize:
  1 Copy of The California Club by Belinda Jones
  1 COACH Wristlet (with dustbag/bought in California)
  $20.00 Gift Card to Amazon.com
• Second Prize
  $10.00 Gift Card to Amazon.com

Okay, that's all for now... Did I miss anyone? I've got a spot on my sidebar for all contests now, so let me know if you've got one you'd like highlighted!!

♥ me

Sucky Dialogue

True Story

Sara wakes up on Friday morning excited. She skips out to her car. The ground is covered in dirty slush, and it's freezing outside. But in Sara's mind, the sun is shining and birds are singing. Why? Well, because today's the day her laptop gets to come home from the computer hospital. No more having to use a second-hand old laptop with zero programs that she needs and no capability to download. Yipee!! She leaps and twirls into the store, with a grin from ear to ear.

Tech Dude: Yes?
Sara (after waiting 15 minutes): Hi! My laptop is supposed to be in today! I'm sooooooooooooooo excited! Here's the info so you can find it...
Tech Dude (comes back with laptop): Here it is. Here's the note that the hospital left about it
Sara (reads note out loud...gets a funny feeling in her stomach): Everything looked fine. No work necessary? (looks up) What does this mean?
Tech Dude: That it didn't need any work.
Sara: So, you're telling me, I've been sans laptop for 15 days for no reason?
Tech Dude (shrugs): Looks like it.
Sara: But. But... I don't understand. It didn't work for me.  It didn't work for other tech dude when I dropped it off two weeks ago. Do laptop miracles exist?
Tech Dude: Looks like it. Here you go. (pushes laptop to Sara)
Sara (stomach sinks further, but she tries to hold on to the shred of possibility that there was some sort of laptop miracle): Um. Can we just check that it works here, before I take it home? Just to be sure?
Tech Dude: Okay.
(The unlikely duo turns on the computer. It's still broken. The exact same way it was the day Sara brought it in.)
Tech Dude: Hm. That's weird. I guess we have to send it back. Come back in two weeks.
Sara (dies on the inside because she's now crying in public): For two m-m-more weeks?
Tech Dude: Yep.
Sara: But what if they just send it back? Can you write a note for them to make sure they fix it this time? Can you speed up the process? I can't wait another 15 days. I might die!
Tech Dude: It's going to be 15 days.
Sara: But can't you do anything? I know it's not you personally, but your team messed up.
Tech Dude: 15. Days.
Sara: But I'm a writer. Okay. So I don't make money yet or anything. But I'm a writer... that's my job. I need my computer.
Tech Dude: 15 Days.
Sara (shoulders slump, chin drops): Um. Sorry for blubbering. I'll see you in two weeks.

This time Sara notices the slush on the way home. The sky is overcast. The birds are gone. She throws herself onto her couch and stares at the secondary laptop she's been using.

Sara: Laptop, I hate you. You suck. You're slow and unfriendly.
Laptop: ...
Sara: I can't even look at you right now.

Sara hides the laptop behind the couch and decides she's going to play Mario on Wii for the day instead of doing anything writing related. She slips the disc in and waits for it to load. It doesn't load. She hits eject. Nothing comes out. She hits eject again. Nothing again.

30 minutes later, after another 30 attempts and one failed try at disassembling the Wii, Sara has a ridiculous thought.  She reaches a half foot over and hits the eject button on the DVD player.

Success.  Bittersweet success.

Characterization

Warning: Long Post Ahead

Today's post is basically a smorgasbord of the things I've learned about characterization from different classes, books, and experiences throughout the years.

For my new project (WIP2), I began with character sketches. First Draft in 30 Days gave me a worksheet to go from, but I cherry picked and added a few categories of my own.  So far, for every WIP2 character, I know all, or most of, the following things:

• Full name (and nickname if applicable)
• Birth date and place
• Role in the novel (e.g. relation to MC)
• Eye/hair color/description (careful of olive skin and almond-shaped eyes... How many times have you read those descriptions??)
• I flipped through magazines and tore out images of people (celebs, advertisement models, headshots of people randomly interviewed on the street, etc) to match with what I envisioned my characters looking like. I didn't keep them whole every time either... I used eyes from one pic, hair from another--you get my drift!
• I also did this when creating the setting sketches... SO helpful! (School, houses, bedrooms, dining rooms...)
• Any scars or other distinguishing marks
• Build & style of dress
• Mannerisms
• One note here is to avoid using clichéd mannerisms too often (biting lips, rolling eyes, etc)...
• Also--make note of the phrases or words that certain characters repeat
• Personality traits: (likes/dislikes/typical mood/hobbies/allergies/anything you can think of should be added) Also:
• How does this character view themself? Do they have any contradictions (e.g. a mother who's a slob but expects her children to keep neat rooms...)
• How does this character react to bad news? How do they function under pressure?
• How does this character react to perceived threats (physical or otherwise)
• Background (This is one of my favorite parts. I can't tell you how much it sucked to cut almost the entire first two chapters of SHATTERED when I began editing. But I had to do it because I'd started off with all backstory. It was important for me to know, but not for readers at the moment. This time I can start my new project already knowing the things I need to about my characters, so it will be easier to layer that info into the story when it's necessary.)
• Internal Conflicts (This is my absolute favorite thing so far. Each character has MORE. THAN. ONE. internal conflict.)
• What are this character's biggest fears? secrets? desires?
• External Conflicts (Who/what will get in the way of what this character wants?) I was worried about being able to flush this section out before starting the plot outline, but man did my characters ever come to life and tell me a lot more than I was expecting this early on!

Whether or not you know how things will end up when you first start writing, your main characters should have changed in some way by the end of the book. Growth is really important. In fact--I think it's what separates the good guys from the bad guys. Villains remain villains because when faced with adversity, they don't change or adapt... They don't grow.

Speaking of bad guys, I don't think they should be cruel all the way to the bone--in most cases, anyway.  You can add so much depth (ah, my favorite word these days) if you give the villains a redeeming trait or two... Maybe they take care of their feeble grandmother. Or maybe it's as small as caring for a pet fish. Or maybe they find peace each morning in a cup of tea with honey... But give them SOMETHING and their connection to the story will seem much more believable.  Also, make sure you understand WHY your villain is bad. What happened to them in life to make them the way they are today?

A lot of beginning writers (myself included if you read the above part about cutting the first two chapters of SHATTERED) make the mistake of throwing everything about their characters into the beginning of a story. While, yes, you should know your characters inside and out. Your readers? Not so much. At first anyway. Instead, unveil your characters at a more gradual pace so that each reader has a chance to form their own ideas about them. This, in turn, will create a much deeper sense of who your characters are than you ever could push through with a summary.

We're all driven by our own personal experiences, and authentic characterization follows suit.  But our characters' past experiences should be revealed to readers on a "need to know" timeline... Not in one big infodump.

Finally, characterization is a BIG part of the whole "show don't tell" principle.

• Don't tell a reader that your character is funny, allow it to come out through humorous bits of dialogue.
• Don't tell a reader that the character has a short fuse, show it in the way she slams her locker shut at the slightest teasing from her best friend.
• Don't tell a reader that your character loves his best friend, show them through his actions... In the tender way he brushes a stray strand of hair from her forehead... In the way his heart turns into a box of Mexican jumping beans when she's near. (Okay, that's cheesy, I admit it, but give me credit--this is a LONG post and I'm getting a little loopy here at the end!)

And, most of the time, you don't really need to explain characters' motives for the types of things mentioned above. Let readers draw their own assumptions based on the behaviors of the characters. Again, it will allow them to create a much deeper connection.

What areas of characterization are the most important to you? Did I leave anything out?

♥ me