Thursday, January 14, 2010

Sucky Poetry

Today, for Shannon's poetry day, I'm sharing some absolutely horrible poetry from my younger years.  ONLY because I love Shannon (who posted some of her own in light of her week long dedication to Lisa Schroeder) and all of my more recent & decent poems are out on submission right now. (If you want to read some nice poetry, be sure to read Shannon's blog today.)

First though, I have to tell you... When digging out my preteen and teenage poetry journals I found some other stuff I'd written during those years. And it made me cry...


A list for your amusement:
  • For the Fear of Death--A two-part short horror story with blood drawn on the cover. (6th grade) 
  • An oh so deep note in a poetry journal (verbatim): "A human being is just a metaphor for life. I am just a metaphor for life."
  • A short story(ish) written completely with exposition about a gold digging murderess named Taylor. (9th or 10th grade)
  • Jocelyn's Choice--A long short story about Princess Jocelyn and her decision to marry based on letters she receives... Complete with an illustrated cover. (Elementary school)
  • Treasure Island and Gary's Grave--My two first ever attempts at flash fiction... (LOL 4th grade)
  • Junk Mail--An absolutely horrible short story about a man getting dumped for reading too much junk mail (some point in high school)
  • Mage's Isle--A handwritten short story about a girl named Ellen who knows magic and becomes the apprentice of an Archmage (Antik) (8th grade)
  • Another deep note in a different poetry journal (verbatim): "Deep down, everyone knows what actually is, yet everyone builds their own facades to cope with the extent of reality to which they cannot adapt to."
  • Sarchevo--An incredibly NOT PC story about a girl who's kidnapped by Indians and forced to become one's wife (Dancing Lion), whom she ends up kind of liking... EVEN though he killed her sister. (8th grade)
Anyway. If you've saved old stories/poems from younger years, I highly recommend that you take a moment to reread them because the laughs that follow will be priceless!

So, onto the bad poetry... This first one was written in 5th grade. When you read it, you will learn that I am obviously a very deep person.

Love vs. Hate

Love is a feeling
            a feeling of security
            a feeling of hope

Hate is an obsession
            that takes over you
            and wraps you in coldness

Love is beautiful
            more so than one million setting suns
            more so than one million rainbows

Hate is sad
            sadder than the deaths of one million butterflies
            sadder than the murders of one million people

Hate is our enemy.
Love is our destiny.

Ta da! So. What'd you think? Was I gifted beyond my years or what? Hahahaha.

There are really no words for my second one. This little gem is from 10th grade. It's titled Nonsense, and... well... you'll see.


Yes I know the Muffin Man
who lives on Drury Lane.

He's across the way waiting for Clementine
who'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes!

Someone's singing Lord,
Kum Ba Ya...
Do you hear her singing?
She's driving six white horses as she comes
(Whoa back!)

Light she is and like a fairy
and her shoes are number nine.
She brings herring boxes with out topses,
she's come to fix the London Bridge.

The Muffin Man greets her
with a hug and a kiss hello...
And those who look quite closely
see the squeeze he gives below.

When the bridge is fixed and finally finished
He takes her on a picnic
with sugar and spice
and everything nice,
like shoe fly pie and Apple Pan-dowdy.

While they eat
across the blanket
the ants went marching
Hurrah! Hurrah!

^crickets chirping^

ummmm yeah. So apparently I reached into a huge kettle filled with every nursery rhyme known to man, stole bits and pieces of what I pulled out and thought I was clever.

So, Shannon. I hope you're happy! Thanks to you, I know have my very own "Sara Shame" label, haha.

♥ me


  1. This made me smile more than a million setting suns.

  2. Okay, first of all, your poems were NOTHING on the horror of mine. I mean, I'll admit, the "hate is sadder than the death of a million butterflies" made me giggle--but come on! I used the word 'daddio'!!!!!

    And wow did you go above and beyond with the Sara Shame. Do you have ANY idea what's going to happen when Frankie sees this? She's GOING to make you post one of these! (and personally I vote for 6th grade horror--ooo, or Jocelyn's choice!) Part of me is scared for you, but the other part hopes I get to read them!

    Thank you SO much for participating. You did an awesome job and definitely gave me my laugh to start the day!

  3. Christopher, LOL. Thanks

    Shannon, for one thing at least YOUR poems were original and you didn't try to pass off random lines from nursery rhymes as poetry.
    For another, I didn't think it through, obviously. But I believe what you just suggested makes you an instigator, my dear...

  4. Oh Sara....you would have been like the coolest friend to have in school. I was the only one I knew that wrote such deep, deep, um, metaphors for life. and the poetry, oh love...what is so wrong with "Hate is sad"? Really. I mean,it is sad, right? Seems to me a bit existentialist if you think about it. I mean, think really, really hard.

    But I must say, some of those concepts were really cool. Like Mage's Isle? How cool is that? I say give it another spin. It might turn into something ;)

    Thanks for sharing your poetry with us. It's been enlightening. Hate is sad...dude, I'll never forget that. (and in all seriousness, I can totally see how poignant that would be for a young girl to say).

  5. Those sound a lot like the poetry my high school students write. The second one brought tears of laughter to my eyes. Way to go, Sara - you are so brave! LOL! :-)

  6. Sara, I actually love the attempt to mix up folk songs with Mother Goose. Found poetry, baby. Have you read much Annie Dillard? She published a whole volume called _Mornings Like This: Found Poems_.

  7. I've never written poetry - thank God - but when I was in middle school I wrote an EPIC NOVEL about a thinly-veiled adult version of myself who was an actress on Broadway and the object of adoration of her dashing co-star. Honest to God, it was, like, two hundred pages long. Single-spaced. I am both heartbroken and RELIEVED BEYOND MEASURE that it was lost in a hard-drive failure when I was in high school.

    My short stories are a different matter, because I was an adolescent in the internet age, so they're still out there. On the internet. Where people can still read them. Luckily there's only one person in the world who can connect my identity then to my actual person, and she'll never give me up because I've got just as much dirt on her.

    Whenever I think about those stories, it always makes me wonder how long it will take for me to look back on what I'm writing now and roll my eyes at how terrible I was.

    "Hate is sadder than the deaths of one million butterflies" is my new favourite saying!

  8. Awww hehe, definitely brave of you to post these! And they're really not so bad at all!!

  9. The Muffin Man cometh! Oh these are so cute and funny and perfectly attuned to childhood. But that metaphor for life is going to stick with me a long time. ;)

  10. The murders of one million people, oh my! I loved both of your poems! Seriously. The nonsense one was fun! I've never been able to write rhyming poems that didn't seem to be so obvious in their rhyme. But that one has depth and you almost don't notice the rhyme. I think it's a cool concept!

  11. sadder than the deaths of one million butterflies- I really like that line. Your poems were not bad! I could picture a very promising writer in those words :)

  12. The nursery rhyme was actually pretty witty and good!

    I like it. And yeah, going through old poetry/writing for me is a mixture between embarrassment and amusement.

    OOH OOH and while I was writing this comment, SUPERCHICK came on. I dig the Christian Rock bands, I just bought my 14 year old niece their latest CD.

  13. I have a present for you at my blog

  14. I may not know much, but I thought "Nonsense" WAS very clever. I wish I'd kept my kid stuff but I'm pretty sure I junked it with my last marriage.

  15. I mean this in the most loving way possible, but those poems made me laugh SO hard. Now I'm actually tempted to dig out my best (worst) gem from middle school (maybe the murder poem!) and send it to you. Via e-mail of course, because I have a very low shame threshold ;-)

  16. Great stuff! I love teaching poetry at school. The kids love it too, especially when they're about 13 or so. Lots of great angst :)

    I burned everything I'd ever written in a bonfire one summer. Probably a good thing!

  17. I like the "sadder than the death of a million butterflies" bit. :)

    Now I'm all veklempt (sp?)...

  18. You are so brave!! I'm not a poet by any stretch, but I do enjoy reading poetry. I have to admit yours made me smile, and chuckle a little too! Thanks for posting!!

  19. I'm not even brave enough to dig out the poetry I wrote in high school. *shudders*

  20. Yay, I'm glad you liked the award! And it's nice to find out we're kindred spirits in cheese :)


Yay! I love when you have things to add :)